Dip’s Hits

In technology we’ve gone through cycles of boom and bust. One of the latest trends is to ‘outsource’. This usually means taking an existing product and sending maintenance or future development of it to Asia. This sounds good on paper, because designers in those countries are typically paid 1/3rd of the costs for employees in North America.

But is it really? What are the true costs associated with this?

It’s an easy sell to executives, who get the best talent available overseas paraded around and show a quick understanding of complex systems, programming languages and design concepts. These guys are easily the equivalent to designers here- well spoken, high-tech, experienced. The assumption, of course, is that the other designers on the team are at a similar level. And also that these same designers who learn the product will be working on the product.

Sadly, this is demonstrably false. As anywhere, there’s no guarantee that an employee will stay with a company. However, in these outsourcing firm’s case- it is worse. These ‘hot shot’ employees are their absolute best employees and are used to sell the outsourcing firm to each company, not for working on the project. Furthermore, the turnover for the rank and file employees is often above 50% annually. The end result of this is that no experience is left and the next ‘batch’ of employees has no history of the product, nor training to maintain it. The employees learn ‘on the job’ and continue to benefit themselves, but product after product faces serious delays, bugs, features being broken, and a hastened demise of the product.

The problem is that even though this is known, executives are on a short cycle; they typically only stay in a position for two years. A failed technology product takes three to five years before it can be judged that the cost benefit was a failure and the product ends up more expensive than had the outsourcing not taken place.

This desire to cut costs is always prevalent in modern business decisions. But to do it immediately to skilled employees has certainly gained momentum because of the alleged success (and delayed failure) of outsourcing.

So, some bright guys at Circuit City tried the same thing.

In a ruthless move to slash worker compensation costs, electronics retailer Circuit City announced March 28 that 3,400 in-store employees, 9 percent of the company’s workforce, would be fired. The company is specifically targeting experienced workers because after years on the job they had accumulated relatively higher wages. According to the Washington Post those affected were notified Wednesday morning and immediately escorted out of the stores by management.

According to a Bloomberg report, average pay for Circuit City store employees is a modest $10 to $11 an hour.

The retailer, which operates 640 outlets in the US, is cutting $775 million in costs over the next seven years by replacing its better-paid store clerks and outsourcing its information technology department. Stocks rose by 2 percent on news of the firings, to $19.23 a share.

Well, that is impressive- an immediate 2% increase in the share price. And 3400 experienced workers laid off because.. they were experienced. Well, these people are just cogs, and can be replaced at will- lots of people are looking for work and all Generation Xers are technologically savvy.

In theory anyway. Or perhaps because of it. If you know more about a product (because you’re technologically savvy) than the guy trying to upsell you on something, you will simply ignore him. On the other hand, if this guy really knows the product, you’ll listen to his advice.

Let’s do some basic math. Let’s say you can replace those ‘over market’ employees with someone making $8 an hour. That’s an immediate 20% savings. But not really, because the true cost of employees is far above their salary (benefits and such). But, let’s go with that. For one year, you’d save $15 million! That’s pretty good- get rid of those overpriced employees and replace them with some kids who just want some extra money.

There’s a cost to decisions like these, you’ve got to pay the big guys who make the tough calls.

According to Forbes.com, president and chief executive Philip Schoonover received $4,514,975 in compensation and an additional $5,459,409 in stock options in 2006. Executive vice-president George Clark drew $1,949,733 in compensation and $4,083,013 in stock options last year.

If my calculations are correct- the two top execs got.. $15 million. But, the stock did go up, so the important thing to the investors- the actual owners of the company- are making money.

Retail operates much faster than technology. People buy things constantly, not in waterfalls. The impact of losing employees is bound to have an effect, but promotion and marketing should be able to compensate. But what of the employees left? Their senior people have been let go- what is their future like? What of the people coming onboard, knowing they are not hired for their abilities, but rather for accepting low pay. What kind of performance can you expect? Will this uncertain attitude show through?

The layoffs were in March 2007. This is the end of the third quarter for reporting. What is the result- did the cost savings offset potential loss of productivity?

The No. 2 U.S. electronics chain also said it may post an unexpected fourth-quarter loss. Fourth quarter is usually when many retailers, including electronics chains, reaped their biggest profit for the year.

It appears that it was a horrible miscalculation. Instead of that 2% surge in share price by those in charge- the investors have lost 75% of their value. Seventy-Five percent in less than a year. I don’t even want to calculate the market value loss of this. The investors should be livid. If you’re going to do something radical, try it in a few stores, before risking the company.This is what happens when you outsource- when you go cheap. The short term gain is never worth the impact to the company.What of the executives- those captains of industry who themselves made what they saved by getting rid of the 3400 experienced employees? The chickens came home to roost in force! The stock is decimated, morale is abysmal, per-store sales are down, profit margins are down, and the impact is going to be felt even in the fourth quarter, which is what stores depend on for much of their profit due to exploitation of ‘holiday’.

“We are very dissatisfied with our third-quarter results,” said Chief Executive Philip Schoonover in a statement. The company’s problems “are primarily self-induced and are within our control to improve.”

The CEO admits they (he) screwed up. Perhaps he’ll resign? The shareholders are probably going to revolt and demand his head. Even so, they’ll find some comfort in knowing that his performance-based options will be null, and that he’ll simply have to suffer through his multi-million-dollar salary.

Circuit City said in a regulatory filing Wednesday that its board approved a special cash retention award program for its top executives including Chief Financial Officer Bruce Besanko and a long-term incentive plan for CEO Schoonover and other top executives.

This is beyond belief. The theory was that executives never have to face the music for bad outsourcing decisions. Yet, somehow they’ve managed to spin this into a cash bonus and long-term incentive plan?

“It seems like the top executives are paid more for poor performance,” Merrill Lynch analyst Danielle Fox posed the question for management on the call. She asked what kind of incentive plans the company had for its rank and file employees instead.

Reference: Marketwatch

Update:   The brilliant CEO, who took home $5 million in pay last year just quit.  The stock target is now $1.75.  Was justice served?  Maybe not, but all the reports I read said that the ‘fire experienced employees’ was the beginning of the end, so I doubt others will go that route.

Update2: 10November2008.  Circuit City has filed bankruptcy.

I’m incensed. I’m all for marketing and capitalism. I remember once long ago when some tobacco company was going to introduce some new cigarettes. They were going to be marketed to lower-income female buyers. Kind of like the Jaclyn Smith Collection at KMart. This is a valid market segment. Anyway, people were up in arms that big bad tobacco was targeting people who didn’t know any better. I was with a girlfriend and we were getting ready to walk into a store (actually, it might have been KMart!) when this female TV reporter shoves a microphone in our faces and wants to know what we think about big tobacco preying on ignorant women who live in trailer parks. Talk about ‘leading the interview’- anyway, the girlfriend gets Girl Power Righteous ™ about how women shouldn’t be targeted like that and picking on the poor, etc. ad naseum. I waited patiently, and when it was my turn, I said I didn’t see any problem at all. That’s marketing- picking out a market segment and tailoring advertising to them- that’s what *all* marketing is, and this group was no different than any other. And, by the way, I find it very elitist that you’re talking down about people who live in trailer parks or who don’t have high incomes. Guess who made it on the TV news that night. No, we write these articles because of the wrong things that happen- of course I wasn’t on TV. My girlfriend was there in her indignant glory ranting about the evils of corporations.

Fast forward to today. I keep getting spammed by Home Depot. I’ve tried to get off their mailing list after being beaten in the head with the futility of trying to get one of their ‘deals’ they advertise. I subscribe to deal websites and know when these are going to come up- and dutifully, I try to get a cordless drill or power washer or.. whatever. The fact is that online nationwide they only have like 10 items- when they sell out they helpfully remind you to “check in-store”- they want you to camp outside the store and go in at 5am or whatever to scramble for the 10 that are in the store. When you lose out to people who camped six hours before you did, you’re supposed to buy some other hyped piece of equipment so you don’t feel like your time was wasted- meanwhile spending more than you should have on something you didn’t want. After two subsequent years of this (do you think I’m a big dummy, of course I didn’t go into the store, I just tried to buy the stuff online), I was done. I dutifully clicked “unsubscribe” which instead of unsubscribing me, led me to a marketing preferences page. Tards. So I fill out my email address and whatever options were for “Die you bait-and-switch jackals”. And I fill it out again two days later. And I ignore the spam email that comes out two days after that.

But then, I start reading the ads. Only a few days left until “Holiday Shopping is done”. Is there a time limit on when you buy stuff for Columbus Day? Oh! Look here! Holiday Pine Tree. On what kind of holiday do you have a pre-lit pine tree? There are so many to choose from! My favorite would be Flag Day Tree. Sweetie, come look! Holiday Ornaments! I’ve been dying to finally get that little decorative Constitution for Bill of Rights Day (which is December 15th, you know). And holiday lights! Oh, yes, we must get into the Spirit of the Season of National Bird Day and put up lights in our windows so we can trick those pea-brained flying snakes into smashing themselves into them- feeding feral cats everywhere!

Or is it something else perhaps… could they be talking about… (OMG, hide the kids, Dippy is going to offend everyone for miles!)… I’m not sure if I can say it…. this website could be blocked by even more people…. Christmas?! That traditional Christian Holiday where people celebrate the birth of the son of their god (that was a mouthful.. how about ‘Christ’- yeah- people know who I’m talking about). That same holiday where people put up Christmas trees, decorate them with Christmas Ornaments and Christmas Lights. I’m sure many of you are gasping in horror that I’ve said “Christmas” four times.. damn- five times! But, the fact is that as part of Christmas (give up counting, no telling how many more times I’ll end up typing it- you can be sure even once will be more than a 10-page Home Depot ad), people buy gifts to give to other people. It is a happy time, celebrating a birthday during a relatively dreary time of year. Even athiests (a generally bitter bunch) buy Christmas trees- and call them such- because it is such a tradition. Let’s think about this- is anyone who is going to buy a Christmas tree… not going to buy it because it says “Christmas” on the box? No way.

What kind of brain-dead-bitter-politically-correct to the point of being inane-company is going to label Christmas products as “holiday”? Well, Home Depot for one. How jaded do you have to be to try to suck up to customers with pretty Christmas ads and promotions and abstain from offending some Buddhist (is it possible to offend a Buddhist?)? Don’t try to say “Holiday” stands for Kwanzaa (a holiday invented in the 60s by a grad student) or Chanukah as well as Christmas. In the case of Jewish holidays- Chanukah is a minor one- while Christmas is a major Christian holiday.

Is Home Depot the only one? Hell no. It is everywhere- but they shat on my cornflakes when I end up with their spam in my inbox every other morning. I finally called up customer support and waited patiently for asking why I wanted to be removed from their marketing list. It took some scrubbing to get the spittle off my monitor, but echoes later heard around the house were faintly similar to “godless heathens pushing kwanzaa bushes”. “Don’t use religion to try to sell items- and not acknowledge the religion.” After the requisite “anything else I can help you with?”, I asked that my feelings about their generic appropriation of Christmas be forwarded on to management (or the department which receives complaints from raving lunatics). Being ever polite and sensitive, I requested that the person have a “holiday”- not knowing if I should say “good holiday” because what if their holiday was “witches are gonna git me day“, because that might hex them. Another store at which I shop is LeisurePro. They’re Jewish. They don’t make any apologies for it. I had no problem shopping them because they freely admit their religion might not be mine, and they’re going to have a sale for Christmas anyway. At least they’re honest about it- and don’t try to push Christmas items. Is that the case with Home Depot? I doubt it. On the other side is Sierra Trading Post, a great place to get outdoor gear- and they’ve festooned their website with not only Christmas symbology, but Biblical quotes as well. My Zoroastrian friends (yes, I really do know a Zoroastrian) don’t have any problems shopping there. I want to commend Sears- I was in the store recently and it was beautifully decorated- I almost got pissed because there was a hanging sign that said “Happy Holidays”… but the one right behind it was “Merry Christmas!”. Good for you, Sears. And good for any store that is at least honest about what they’re trying to capitalize on. It is marketing in its best sense- as earlier- finding a target group and selling to them. In the case of Christians- and traditionalists who celebrate Christmas- that’s a big market.
I’m sure there are some wacky fringe groups who want to banish any kind of religious symbolism- and while that works for the government (we at Dippy central are steadfast believers in the separation of Church and State), it is just stupid for companies to appease them- at the expense of their customer base. The reason being that we’ve gone from “Over-commercialism of Christmas” to “Steadfast refusal to acknowledge Chri…Holiday“. I see the end result being a gradual decline of shopping for Christmas. I have to admit I’m getting weary of it myself. We’re being lax on our “Holiday Decorating(tm)” and have toned down our Christmas shopping…because, perhaps without a Christmas Sale… it no longer “Feels like Christmas”.

I’m going to keep an updated list of good boys and girls, and those which deserve coal (the acid test is if they send me email, and whether or not they try to latch onto Christmas without mentioning it)
Good:

• Sears
• Divers Direct (awesome scuba prices and people)
• Butterfly Photo (digital package prices are nice)
• Sierra Trading Post (outdoor gear- best prices)
• NewEgg (technology- the best store)
• KMart

Bad:

• Home Depot
• I Robot (Roomba)
• Office Depot

I hate Internet Explorer. I have a lot of reasons- the foremost being that it is insidious. I often use a Solaris workstation and even at my own company run across web pages that only work in IE. Screw that. They don’t make IE for Solaris, because a real operating system needs real software, not some pile of crap bundled together. All I could do was complain to the site administrator, put in a support ticket, point out corporate policy about supporting multiple browsers and finally have to go to some goob’s PC who had IE running on it to do whatever I needed to do.

So, here’s my revenge. You won’t be reading this unless you have something other than IE.

The best reason is that it is simply better. Firefox supports open standards, is faster, less virus-prone, and extensible. It is also a no-brainer to enhance it with extensions.

Then again… you know all this because you’re reading this.

Congratulations, you pass the test.
Welcome to the real world

Oh- for fun, send your IE friends here.

(Dip has released this rant early because one of his editors has lost his way. It will be updated and republished soon).

North Carolina is implementing a State Lottery. The reason is

“For Education”

Even better, it is represented (no, I’m not making this up) as “North Carolina Lottery For Education”.

I’m opposed to a lottery. I’d like to explain why- and maybe end up convincing you that it is wrong as well. I’m going to use North Carolina as an example, because it is in the headlines right now.

Advocates for the lottery are spouting: “Every other state on the Eastern Seaboard has it.” And “NC is the largest state which doesn’t have one.”

Do you remember when your Mom would find you doing something stupid, and you would say “Billy did it. Billy’s Mom lets him do it!” Now that you’re grown- and Billy is working construction down South somewhere with his bad leg (yes, he *did* jump off that bridge)… Please remember her lessons. That being- just because someone else is doing it, doesn’t make it right. In fact, if the mob is doing it, it may likely be wrong. Please reference Looting (LA, New Orleans, etc.). Another supporting reason was that “North Carolina borders with states that have the lottery.” I would call that a bright spot in a canvas of ignorance. In further proof of lunacy, it turns out that one of the states-that-border-NC and another on the Eastern Seaboard that has the lottery (South Carolina) used just that kind of “Billy Did It!” excuse for why they needed a lottery (their SC example was that Georgia had it… ssssssh that NC didn’t so they couldn’t use the excuse that they were surrounded by lottery states).

“Gambling is wrong. You aren’t allowed to run gambling rings. So we’ll just set one up with poor odds, and ban all others. We call it The Lottery.” John McCoy

I don’t know who John McCoy is, and whether he was being facetious… but he hit it right on the head. Actually, there needs to be some clarification… State Lotteries are sold as “every dollar is put into a pot, and the state gets interest on the pot until the money is paid out.” Wrong. Big wrong. The bad odds are above- basically, only about 50% of the money you put in gets paid out. Well, Mr. Greedy, you’re upset that you don’t get the 50% which goes to education Uh, no. I’m upset about where the rest of the money goes- it goes to pay expenses such as advertising, printing, paying lottery consultants, special promotions, actually paying the people at the gas station a cut to have the tickets, etc. I don’t know the exact figure of what actually goes to state coffers (much less education), but let’s say it is probably 10%. NC estimates that it will provide about $300 million in revenue after expenses. That’s not even 2% of the current budget, so it seems to be a lot of work for a mere 2% increase in revenue. My personal guess is that that there are a lot of back door politics involved with those who benefit from the lottery and that it isn’t altruistic at all.
Update! There’s already a scandal with one of the companies vying to be our child-education-benefitting helper. Speaker of House Scandal

When you’re spending others’ money, it is easy to spend it on what you want- and not what it is allegedly being taxed. For example- there is an endorsement on your driver’s license for operating a motorcycle. Since the State does not provide motorcycle training, where does this money go? To the NC general fund. How about those personalized license plates? It costs a bundle for you to have the privlege of supporting your school team on your license plate- but it is for roadside beautification, right? Wrong. That program makes so much money that only a tiny amount goes to beautifying the roads. Not that I’m against that- I’m against lying to people. When there’s a charge, it should be quickly disclosed as to where it is going.

Though I am somewhat religious, I’m no fruitcake yelling “sinner!” at every passerby. In fact, I’m probably yelled at more than any of you reading this. So, let’s take religion out of it (which as far as I know universally condemn gambling).

Do people really playing the lottery want money for education? If they did, they could write a check right to their local school. Ever heard of the PTA?

All of us complain about the Federal deficit. Did you know that you can write a check to the government directly to pay down the debt? It’s true, but does anyone actually do it? No. Because that is stupid monetary policy. You don’t spend more than you have. You also pay your debts. Which is why no one pays to reward overspending. But, that’s what you’re doing when spend money on the lottery. Well, that’s what you think you’re doing. As I mentioned above, of that dollar you spend, the State gets $0.02.

Politicians should do what the people want! Uh, no. If that were the case, we wouldn’t need politicians, would we. I mean, we would just have a referendum on everything and then the masses… I mean… the public (who are clamoring for education- is it lacking?) can decide.

Let’s try an example. I can ask a group of children “would you like candy instead of vegetables for dinner?” I think that referendum would pass. No, citizens aren’t children… but the reason we elect officials is to make the right decisions. Then again, maybe that’s the problem- we have the wrong people in office- I don’t want to start on national politics- let’s stick with local ones. North Carolina doesn’t need a lottery- and any politician who thinks it does is doing NC harm by this decision.

North Carolina also has a tax on FOOD. Yeah, it’s pretty unbelievable. Do you know why there’s a ‘temporary’ (40+ years) tax on food? Why would the state do such a thing?

“For Education”

(add section on regressive nature. add info about gambling for rich people=stock market. add photos of lottery winners)

Billy’s Mom made the wrong decisions for Billy. Fortunately for NC, he moved to SC because they had a lottery. We don’t want Billy back.

Some references:

An NCSU Economist

(add this tripe:

Playing the lottery is an exhilarating and enticing way to chance winning money. Most games don’t cost very much money; few cost over $1 or $2 per play. However, they allow players the chance to win huge sums of money. For those who dream of quitting their jobs and being independently wealthy, the lottery is an affordable way to take some chances and move toward a goal.

from http://www.assortedlotteries.com/

Dear Congressman,

Please do not allow any kind of immigration ‘amnesty’. There are legal ways of immigration- my parents were both immigrants.

I find it so ironic that we are considering rewarding those who have broken- and continue to break the law. And peripherally- those who brought them across the border. Suddenly the thousands they’ve paid could buy them citizenship. This is wrong.

The reason I say this is I have a friend who was an engineer with me at (a large multinational firm). We brought him over, and he’s been an incredibly productive worker. However, downsizing and moving of jobs overseas and to Canada means that he recently lost his job.

And now he has to go back to England.

Here he is- buying a home, paying taxes, living within the law… *wanting to stay* and he has to leave this country because he followed the rules. He is one of many in the same situation- others have already left.

If we’re going to do anything, it needs to be to make legal immigration easier- not reward those who have scoffed at our laws.

Please do not allow those of us who have played by the rules be made to look like fools.

Regards,

Dip

I signed up for an online bank. The name is ‘Emigrant Direct’, but I’m not going to bother linking to them to give them even web bot link referrals. They give great rates- 4%, which was about 800% more than what I was getting with my local bank. You know, the power of the internet, blah blah blah. But, they blundered. Hard. They sent me a little hat with their name on it. I might post said hat with what I think of it. I did send them a letter though. And to follow up, I’ve opened accounts with other banks- who haven’t sent me a hat- but they haven’t wrapped themselves in the flag either.

I just received your hat and was initially pleased at the gesture. I really liked the little USA flag on the back- it made me think the founders of Emigrant Bank would have been proud of their new country.

Then, I turn the hat over to see the “Made in China” label. That’s almost obscene- using the flag for Chinese made goods. Next time, keep your stupid hat.

I now think the founders of Emigrant Bank (Irish Emigrants, right?) would be turning over in their graves because you decide to send a gift from a communist country- when the US itself has many manufacturers of hats. You know, manufacturing- the kind of jobs that Irish emigrants would have filled when they came to this country.

Actually, your blunder is the kind of impetus that would make me get rid of your bank and go to one of your competitors. Or, as your example would show, maybe I should go to an overseas vendor- who doesn’t provide things like health insurance for their bank employees so they can offer the absolute lowest price- my own country be damned.

But, lucky for you, I guess, banking still has protectionist measures that prevent the destruction of that local industry. Though, I’m guessing, you probably outsource your customer service through call centers in India, your IT work is probably done in Vietnam, and the little doodads you pass out in the branch offices are all made in China.

Don’t send me any more communist, slave or prison-labor made junk. I’ll only throw it away and ridicule you further. This is posted on my blog. I’m no longer recommending your bank.

Regards,

Dip S. Hits

Oh, now one of my favorite organizations, the EFF , which is the Electronic Frontier Foundation (no, I’m not being sarcastic- these are the good guys) sent me a way cool looks-like-the-FBI hat when I joined. Only problem is… the hat is made in aforementioned child and slave labor communist country where freedom doesn’t even remotely exist.

Here’s what I wrote to them.

I’m happy to be a part of EFF- and I love my hat that I got when I signed up.
However, I was pretty disappointed to see that it was made in China. If there’s any country in the world where electronic (or any) freedom is restricted, it is that country. Why give (my) money to a company in such a country?

Please reconsider where you source your promotional merchandise, as it gives a very mixed signal.

Regards,

And they wrote back (unlike aforementioned bank)

Thank you for your email and your concern. This issue has been brought to our attention and we are looking into alternatives to the hat we are currently offering.

Thanks for your continued support!

So, do I hate China? Well, yeah. Uh.. no. Not really. I have nothing against Taiwan, for example. In fact, I strongly support them. Big difference to me between ‘made in Taiwan’ and ‘made in China’. But I’ll talk about that another time.

Obviously people don’t know anything about dual core and benchmarks.

Here’s a hint: two CPUs can do two things at once. One CPU can only do one thing at any instant. To make a single CPU do multiple things (multitask), it has to devote a small amount of time to each task. Then it does a ‘task switch’ to service the next task.

If you’re doing a benchmark of say.. a game.. then the fastest single processor is all that matters. Games are (currently) single-tasking. Which is why AMD has the FX series.

If you do multiple things- such as a web server serving multiple users, or a high-end application written to scale to multiple processors (database, some calculation software), then dual-core absolutely blows away any single-tasked processor, even at half the speed of the single processor (because there’s no delay in task switching).

Most desktop software (correctly) assumes that there’s only one processor so there’s no need to bother taking a task and writing software to use multiple processors. However, even Windows primitive OS can use multiple processors and assign processors to different applications if they’re running simultaneously.

A relatively new development is that of multiple *cores*.   We’ve had multiprocessor systems for a while- mostly servers.  But the clever AMD guys figured a way to put two cores on a single chip; dual-core.  It makes for some interesting chip designs, but is a lot cheaper than a dual-processor motherboard- and really has the same limitations (access to memory, peripherals, etc.).  Expect a lot more of this to happen in the future- 4 and 8-way cores will be here soon.
In conclusion: Gaming: fast single processor. Everything else- multiple processors/cores are better.

I just read a fascinating story about a poor actress who thought she was being chased by paparazzi ended up hitting another car in a parking lot… Says the LA Times Actually, it wasn’t fascinating at all. It was boring. I’ve never heard of the actress, yet, four minivans of photographers had been following her around for days hoping to get a shot of her going to Disneyland?

Tens of thousands of people go to Disneyland a day. What makes this chick so special that people risk other people’s lives, chasing them around, causing accidents?

Here’s the rub- I don’t care about this actress. I care far more for the woman whose car was hit.. BY THE ACTRESS. Here is a person, with her kids, getting sideswiped by a crazed fruitcake actress. All this poor woman wanted to do was take her kids to see an oversized rodent.

Why do people go into acting? TO GET FAMOUS. Why do they want to be famous? So that people will follow them around admiring them. How do they admire them? By taking photos. It is just so ironic that they want to decide when and where. Too bad- you make a deal like that, you live with the consequences. Many people would want to change places with you- and will, at any time. Good actors are a dime a dozen. Literally. Actually, good actors are often free. Go to a community theather sometime. You’ll be impressed.

I also read that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.. hold your breath… WENT TO A MUSEUM. Yes, I know, I’m dumfounded myself. It was on the front page of Google News, which if it can be believed means that it was considered news to a large portion of the world. What really struck me was:

The Mr and Mrs Smith co-stars and four-year-old Maddox enjoyed a tour of the Royal Tyrrell Museum near Drumheller on Saturday, confirms the museum’s spokeswoman Wendy Taylor.

Taylor enthuses, “They did not ask us to close the museum or for an after-hours visit or any special treatment. “

Here’s a newsflash. When I went to the museum… I didn’t ask them to close the museum. Nor did I ask for special treatment. Hey Wendy- be sure to tell them that too. Actually, I bet Wendy would tell you that no one asks for special treatment. When should special treatment be afforded? Well, when security is at risk, that would be important. Like if a foreign dignitary was visiting- I could see special arrangements being done. Having acted like a foreign dignitary doesn’t count.

I like Brad Pitt- Fight Club and 12 Monkeys are some of my favorite movies. Yes, Brad Pitt is in 12 Monkeys, though he’s hard to recognize- which is a mark of a good actor, I’d say. Angelina Jolie? I think she pretty much defines fruitcake. But, she’s using her fame for good things- trying to bring attention to poverty in developing nations. So, that gets her some credit.

But… why all the attention? What did Brad Pitt do *before* he became famous? . Younger brother Doug, sister Julie. His dad, Bill, was a former manager of a trucking company. His mom, Jane was a high school counselor. So, he went to public school, was liked by his friends, went to college, then decided to try acting. Good for him- he made it. And Angelina is only now getting respect because of what she’s done *after* she was famous? I don’t even want to know, but it probably has a lot to do with her dad being a famous actor. Watch Hackers if you want further proof.  Even she knows it: Angelina Jolie told CNN reporter Anderson Cooper in her first U.S. interview since the birth of her daughter that she had a stupid income for what she does, of which she aknowledged she gave a third to charity.”
Now, let’s take a look at this compared to the general public. From Brad’s point of view (since that’s a little more realistic), he went to school for a while, then wanted to go into acting. He set off on his own, was in a bunch of bit parts, and finally got noticed. That’s a dream a lot of people have. Watch the end credits of a movie sometime. Look at all the names of bit players that go by. Each of them wants to be Brad Pitt. A good percentage of them are equally good actors. Most of them did like Brad did, and went to school, then decided they wanted to act- and set off to Hollywood with the money in their wallet and the shirt on their back to get them through.

But, it boils down to dumb luck. Somehow Brad got noticed. It isn’t devine intervention that picks the most talented or best looking actor out of a crowd of wannabees. Sometimes it is who you know, other times, it is who you bl.. Come to think of it, you could say that for most corporate executive leadership teams, though, to their minor credit, they have to do a lot before they get ‘picked’.

So, what’s the point of all this? Here it is: all those people who pursue acting are chasing a stupid and ridiculous dream. I mean, it is playing the lottery with your life and happiness. I think the lottery is stupid, but at least it helps pay for public schools. Dropping out of your life to become an actor is just plain dumb. In the big picture.. what good are these people doing? I hear in my head one of the male models from Zoolander saying “We help people style their hair in new and interesting ways.”

Rant: Wanting to become an actor is self-loathing. It means, you don’t like the person that you are and want to pretend to be someone else. It means, you have no purpose other than to serve as entertainment for people who do contribute to society. It means you’re the 21st century version of a court jester or sideshow.

What should you do? Who should you admire? Everyone who has a job. That telemarketer with whom I just spoke (nicely (which is rare), because she was nice) handles more pressure than Angelina Jolie ever could… every day. She has to deal with people hanging up on her, yelling at her, threatening her… and she has the pressure to perform and push whatever project or product she’s being paid for. Does she want that job? Hell no. She wants to be like Angelina and have to ‘work’ a couple of months out of the year. But she does it because she has to- she needs to have a place to live and food to eat.

Eat? Let’s get to the meat of this rant. The people we should look up to and admire are those who try to make the world a better place… without the carrot of fame and fortune dangling in front of them. Teachers are an easy pick. I’ve had amazing teachers growing up.

But, who you should really admire are scientists. These are the people who advance technology, medicine, space exporation, food production… teaching methods… and even entertainment. I’ve worked and associated with many of them, and am incredibly impressed by their dedication and quest for learning new things. I look up to them. The glory of creating or discovering something new is what drives them. They aren’t doing this so they don’t have to work. They go to school forever, and get a fairly secure job, but with not a whole lot of growth potential. They work in fairly mundane surroundings (but, to them, it is a toy shop!) and pursue their work with an incredible diligence. When one of them strikes it big, they’re initially happy that some interest is being shown in their field, but secretly think the person is selling out rather than further advancing their science.

I’d love a world where scientists are the superstars. Where I read about the guy who cured the common cold can’t go visit the zoo without throngs of admiring fans chasing him around. Where the inventor of the hovercar is being pursued by a pack of cold fusion
SUV-driving paparazzi…

Let’s hope for the world where the scientist is what all kids want to be when they grow up.

What I want to know is what the heck is wrong with people. Well, I think that’s going to be a common theme for this blog, so I guess I need to be a bit more specific.

Doesn’t everyone know that soda is bad for you? I mean, even when we all went to school a zillion years ago, there was that kid who did the experiment with putting a tooth in a cup of Pepsi overnight and showed how rotted it was? Of course, that was to show tooth decay, but what is the magical thing that causes it? Okay, bacteria, right. No, soda is not full of bacteria, sheesh. But, bacteria need sugar. LOTS OF SUGAR.

Apparently there’s an epidemic of obesity in this country (and pretty much everywhere else, according to National Geographic). And.. . besides the obvious fat bodies who eat themselves into oblivion, there’s the soda link. Soda, coke, pop, whatever you call it, it is every fricking where. Here’s what gets me- every fast food joint in the country has a soda fountain now. It used to be that you got one soda and that was it. Now, they’re fricking fountains of sugar- never ending.

Being a cheapskate, I like that. I can drink as much as I want for the same price.

However, I ONLY DRINK DIET SODA, because I’m not a moron. Do you know how much sugar is in a can of soda? It is obscene. It is Kool-Aid.. with bubbles. Try this- spill some on your driveway. Then watch the fricking ant-and-insect parade go at their new treasure.

So, know we know that sugared soda is fricking bad, but having lots of soda available is good for cheapskates… what’s the solution? Here it is:

HAVE MORE THAN ONE DIET SODA CHOICE AT A SODA FOUNTAIN

Gosh, it is amazing in its simplicity. Going a step further, have them *all* diet sodas. Then use the sugar you’d have stuck in the can, which ended up on your ass be used to make ethanol or something useful other than an over-the-belt flap of fat.

k?